Wk 11: Are You Spiritually Homeless?

The Skeptic Framework > Community

The Second “C” in SKPTCC: Community

In prior articles, I discussed the first five lenses of the Skeptic Framework (Scripture, Knowledge, Personal Experience, Tradition, Continuing Revelation). In this article, we’ll take a look at the final lens: Community.

This can be a controversial topic, especially for SBNRs (spiritual but not religious folks) or those who have been traumatized by overly zealous or judgy members of a spiritual community. Sometimes the trauma is the result of the super conservative rules of an entire denomination.

Going it alone on your spiritual journey—becoming spiritually homeless—might be the only option you are willing to consider at the moment. And that’s fine. After all, your primary focus needs to be your relationship with your Higher Power.

Everett Considine, an Internal Family Systems Practitioner, teaches that we have an internal part he calls the Isolator. The goal of this part is to protect us by keeping us away from other—potentially threatening—people. However, when we let the Isolator call the shots, we can end up missing out on some important blessings of community.

So, even if you pulled away from a spiritual community because of trauma, and even if you stayed away at the insistence of your Isolator, eventually, you might sense a call to come into relationship with others following a similar spiritual path.

My best advice is to let the Spirit guide you in that process of discovery. Make it a topic to consider in your spiritual practice. Follow promptings and see where they lead. As always,

• Run the experiment.

• Journal about it along the way.

Steve’s Take on Community

In the Veazey Hexagon—which addresses how entire communities discern God’s will—the final lens is Common Consent. As practiced in Community of Christ, this is a process of education, discussion, prayer, consideration, and voting at conferences when considering changes in policy or leadership.

Following this process ensures that

• God’s Spirit leads the church.

• The other five lenses have been considered.

• No one person’s or group’s perspective is allowed to dominate.

Editorial Comment

For example, this process was followed in adopting new policies related to LGBTQ+ marriages and ordinations in 2013. And it has been followed in choosing Steve Veazey’s successor as Prophet-President of Community of Christ, starting in 2023. (If she is approved by delegates to the church’s upcoming World Conference, Stassi Cramm will be ordained as the next Prophet-President—and first woman to serve—on June 1, 2025).

For purposes of the Skeptic Framework, I have modified this lens to reflect a similar principle at a personal level: Community. Being a member of some type of spiritual community can support us in facing new challenges, expose us to other perspectives and viewpoints, and help us grow spiritually.

Sermon Notes

This lens has been super important to the successful outcome of my journey to becoming a writer. As I mentioned in the sermon-turned-Substack-article I’ve been discussing—“Have You Been Marginalized?” (Part 1 & Part 2)—finding friends in a writing community (who, BTW, also happen to be members of my faith community) gave me the help I needed to get to the point of becoming a published author in March 2025.

Editorial Comment

If COVID reminded us of nothing, it is that we are communal beings. Even the most introverted among us (like me) need human interaction.

A faith community can provide that interaction, and so much more:

• Practice in patience, cooperation, spiritual sensitivity

• Opportunities for leadership, service, sharing

• Sounding boards for working through the decisions of life

• Friends to help celebrate wins and grieve losses

• Fellow seekers to offer confirmation of what God has revealed to you

Yes, you can get by without belonging to a faith community. But you will find yourself replacing it with some other community, related to some other interest or hobby. Sports. Reading. Parenting. Cancer survivors.

If your interest is in spirituality, eventually you’ll want a spiritual home.

Not ready for “organized religion”? No problem. Meet in your home. Meet in any sacred-to-you space. Meet on Zoom. Meet for services. Meet for study. Meet for sharing. Meet for fun. Any sort of meeting can be spiritual in nature if you find a way to include spiritual elements.

Just meet.

A Personal Story About Community

My denomination is just the right size for me.

• There aren’t many congregations.

• Most sizeable U.S. cities have only one congregation.

• The congregations tend to be small and welcoming.

I moved from South Carolina to Madison, Wisconsin for work in 2013. A friend of mine from South Carolina happened to be at a Saturday wedding in Madison. I hit town the next day.

I checked in to my temporary living quarters, settled in, and checked my email. My friend had sent me the phone number of the local pastor. She was waiting for my call.

Monday evening, I was sitting down at the Madison church, making a new friend.

Within two weeks I had a couple dozen new friends. In a town I’d never before visited. I was never once lonely in the sixteen months I lived there. I still keep in contact with many of the friends I made there.

Another Personal Story About Community

A young woman quietly walked into the sanctuary and sat in the empty back pew. A few of us turned around and smiled at her as the pastor continued.

"Before our service begins," he explained, "I invite you to bring forward any prayer requests you might have."

A few of the regulars took turns mentioning health concerns, upcoming travel, the usual stuff. Then, to everyone's surprise, the visitor spoke up.

As she began to explain her current situation, she became emotional. One of the female ministers moved over from her usual spot, putting her arm around Angela. Angela's ex was fighting for custody of their four-year-old daughter. And he was likely to win. The court date was "tomorrow."

The concerns were prayed for; the service began. A guest minister, Brenda, spoke on the topic of forgiveness. Angela took the message to heart.

The next morning, she ran into her ex on the courthouse steps. She told him she had forgiven him. They talked. In the end, he dropped the custody suit.

Later, we asked Angela why she had come into our small church building that fateful morning. Her answer: "I was driving by, worrying about losing my child, and something inside me told me to stop, to go in. So I did."

Coming into community changed her life.

Prompts for the Lens of Community

Journal about your past experiences with religious or spiritual communities. (Prompts written in collaboration with Claude 3.7.)

• When you reflect on your journey with community, what moments of connection have filled your cup and made you feel truly seen? Conversely, what interactions have left you feeling disconnected or wounded? Which aspect of the journey has had the greatest impact on your decisions about being in community?

• Imagine yourself in a nurturing community space. What does that look like for you? What gifts, opportunities, or experiences would help you flourish? How would receiving these elements transform your spiritual journey.

• When you contemplate a return to spiritual community, what hesitations arise in your heart? What vulnerable truths or past experiences might have given birth to your inner Isolator? Explore these fears with gentleness, recognizing the Isolator as a guardian of your authentic self, while wondering what might exist beyond its protective boundary.

• In moments when you've felt most authentic and spiritually aligned in community, how intimate was the gathering? Think about how your spirit responds to different sized circles—from one-on-one connections to small groups to larger assemblies. How might the community’s size affect your ability to be present, vulnerable, and engaged?

• Consider the physical and virtual spaces where you've experienced meaningful connection. What elements of these environments helped you feel safe, inspired, or open to spiritual presence? Whether it's the quality of light, natural surroundings, familiar comforts, or digital accessibility—what sacred “geography” calls to your soul and invites your most authentic participation in community?

The Takeaway

If you’re not currently participating in a faith community, or if you are looking for an alternative, I hope you’ll spend some time with the prompts.

Remember, the purpose of everything I’ve written so far in the Phoenix Your Faith series is designed to help you mindfully take your bearings as to where you are in relation to spirituality, faith, and religion.

The more you understand (and document) where you are now—about yourself, your beliefs, and your spiritual history, at this moment—the easier it will be to recognize and celebrate the progress you make in the future.

Remember, shelter for the spiritually homeless is available all around you. Go find yours!

RESOURCES for Further Study

Ways of Discovering God's Will (i.e., the Veazey Hexagon) - Steve Veazey on YouTube

Ways of Discovering God's Will - Listening Guide on scribd

Discerning Future Leadership - an example of the process of Common Consent

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